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"ARE
WE THERE YET?"
Some thoughts on family road trips from a father on Father's
Day…
By Chris Epting
It is one of the great, if not the
great American question. Metaphorically, many of us challenge
ourselves each day to achieve what we set out to accomplish
in life. Spiritually, emotionally, financially, and on, we
wonder, Are we there yet?
More specifically, it is of course the
instinctive question posed by generations of children when
traveling, especially when road tripping. (Did children in
covered wagons ask this?)
When on a family road trip, the question
doesn't quite affect my or my wife's nervous system the first
several times it's posed. It's when it enters triple-digits
that I think we both start to zone out. But that's okay. After
all, what would a family trip be without it?
We take as many car trips as we can, to
as many fun and interesting and offbeat and historical places
as we can. Certainly part of it is by design, as I am frequently
in the middle of writing and researching a book. But the more
meaningful part of it is the shared experience and sense of
adventure; the chance to live life together as a family and
of course, for my wife and I to watch as our children discover,
learn, grow, and just simply find their way.
Some of my finest memories up to this point
are tied to family road trips, particularly in our home state
of California. Like watching the kids pose against a giant
artichoke in Castroville, California. ("Artichoke capitol
of the world.") Panning in the exact same spot where
James Marshall famously discovered gold in 1848. Prowling
the stage where Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin performed at
Monterey in 1967. Sifting for clues on the lonely road where
James Dean met his fate in 1955. Or the kids laughing hysterically
as Dad navigates the sometimes-sickening curves along Highway
1, one of the world's most gorgeous coastal drives.
And of course, we have a few basic rules
of the road…
- Have at least a few pieces of music
that become your own family soundtrack. For us, "Gene
Autry's Greatest Hits" plays a big part of any trip.
- No DVD/Video players on board. In my
opinion, they are divisive and help defeat the purpose of
traveling together. I remember once, someone I worked with
was showing off his shiny new Navigator with hi-tech DVD
system, boasting with glee that now he'd never have to hear
his kids in the car ever again. As sad a commentary as I've
ever heard.
- Make it fun for the kids, no matter
what. In years to come, when they recount these days, it
should be fond, relaxed, whimsical times they recall, not
over-taxed and over-complicated moments of stress.
- Leave things open to chance. If it
feels right, take that unexpected exit. Too much planning
can suck the life and spontaneity from a trip.
- Eat in unusual, non-chain joints when
you can. Fast food places don't need your business as much
as Big Bad Bubba's Bar-B-Q. (And Bubba's food is better!)
- Meet people along the way. Be they
locals or fellow travelers, it can really enhance your experience
to hear about others' experiences.
- Take lots of pictures. Later on in
life, you'll probably wish you'd taken even more.
- Be patient. Kids may not love the open
road as much as you do. If that's the case, start small
with day trips and maybe you'll wean them into it.
- Give your kids choices. Spur their
imagination with what's out there and let them be a part
of deciding where you visit/what you do.
- Take your time. After all, life
is shorter than we'd like it to be. Perhaps we can make
it at least seem longer by slowing down a bit.
With that, I can hear our daughter's
voice right now.
"Are we there yet, daddy?"
No, sweetheart. Not yet.
Then our son.
"Dad?"
Yes, fella?
"Are we there yet?"
"Not yet, buddy… Soon."
But no matter how close we really are to our
destination, in my mind I always sort of hope we don't
get there for awhile. Because I love watching miles pass by
with my family. And I know that in the years following their
eventual leaving of the nest, I will miss that question terribly.
After all, what better reminder that you're a parent than
hearing those wonderful little voices asking that classic
question from the backseat (even if you've just pulled out
of the driveway.) Are we there yet?
Chris Epting
June 20, 2004
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