A Death Valley Scotty Tall
Tale, by Del Albright
The whiskey jug was getting empty as the day wore
on, and the two men kept pulling on it. The sun was hot, beating
relentlessly down on them, and the desert was dead of sound. Why
Death Valley Scotty had sent them to this particular spot for
the ambush made very little sense. It was miles from nowhere in
the wash they called "Wingate." But what the heck? Scotty's
old drinking buddy, Key, wasn't going to argue with him. And the
drunk he brought along for company didn't care one way or the
other.
It didn't matter. Sooner or later the wagon would
come down the wash, and the shooting would begin. It was simple
plan, and the more the man thought about it, the more he pulled
on the whiskey jug. Scotty was late, and the two drinkers were
really tired of hiding behind the pile of rocks up on the side
of the wash. They had a good view of the wash, and their field
of fire was perfect. Their six-shooters were getting hot lying
exposed to the sun. It was hell-fire past time for something to
happen.
The reason for the ambush was complicated. It was
typical of Death Valley Scotty to exaggerate the truth now and
then. But this time he had really stretched things. He had a bunch
of foreign investors convinced that he had a major gold mine located
in the hills around Wingate Wash. Some say he had gone so far
as to salt the mine with nuggets and other gold chips. Who knows?
One thing for sure, these foreign investors were talking big money,
and they wanted to see the mine first.
Daniel E. Owen, a Boston mining engineer, was entrusted
to represent the investors and accompany Scotty to the mine. It
was a long trip out to Death Valley, but necessary. No money would
change hands until the tremendous gold find could be validated
by Mr. Owen. So Scotty laid his plan.
He knew he couldn't take Owen and his party to the
mine. Hell, there was no such massive gold find in all the Panamint
mountain range put together. He had to scare them off, but he
had to do it in such a way as to not raise suspicion.
So he had hired the two ambush men to act like outlaws
-- crazed, wild and fast-on-the-trigger outlaws. He wanted them
to descend upon the mining party and fire gun shots wildly in
the air to convince everyone to turn around and head for home!
It was simple. The ambush men figured they'd throw in a few hair-raising
screams as they fired off their six-shooters. But alas, things
happened.
As Scotty and the mining party came lumbering down
the wash in the old wagon pulled by a mule, the heat was enough
to drive away a sane man. But this Owen guy was insistent on making
it all the way to the mine. Scotty scanned the berm of the wash
looking for his "outlaws." Scotty's brother Warner sat
next to him on the front seat of the wagon. The Owen party rode
in the back. No one expected what happened next.
By now the two ambush men were pretty far gone into
the jug. They had not brought water, so the whiskey consumption
acted even quicker than normal to get them higher than a buzzard.
Both men wiped their sweaty hands on their breeches as they heard
the wagon rolling over the rocks not far down the wash. Scotty
never saw them until they jumped up from behind the rock escarpment
and started blazing away. It was a fusillade of shots, screaming
and mule braying!
Scotty felt rounds flying by his head and knew instantly
that these two yard birds were going to hurt somebody if they
didn't cease firing. He didn't know they were drunk, but he sure
as hell knew they were doing more than scaring the passengers.
Suddenly, Scotty's brother lurched to one side and began wailing
in pain while clutching at his midsection. Scotty looked and couldn't
believe it. His brother had been seriously hit in the groin area
by a gun shot. He was bleeding profusely. Scotty knew the farce
was up. He jumped up and yelled: "Stop, stop shooting, you
fools! You've hit my brother!"
Well, it didn't take a genius to figure out at that
moment that the ambush had been a hoax -- as was the mine. Daniel
Owen and his party saw Death Valley Scotty for what he was. No
money was going to change hands. Oh, and Scotty's brother? Well,
he made it back to civilization, but nearly lost his leg as part
of the deal, and ended up suing Scotty and the whole group for
damages and medical expenses. And the fate of Scotty? Well, for
years he was still telling tales and convincing folks that he
has other mines just as rich -- maybe worth investing in? Some
say he still wanders the hills around Wingate Wash.
Del
Albright
2/16/06
 Del
Albright is an internationally published columnist
who has been exploring and writing about off-highway destinations
for over 20 years. He is an advocate for sensible management
of public lands and works tirelessly to ensure access for
motorized recreational users through his work with the BlueRibbon
Coalition. His articles have appeared in magazines, newspapers
and off-highway enthusiast periodicals. Del shares advice
for properly equipping road trip vehicles and insider tips
about little-known off-road destinations. If you have any
questions about off-highway adventuring, Del may be reached
here. |
