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  1. Default To Third-Wheel or not to Third-Wheel...

    This summer my friend and I are road tripping to the Olympic Trials for Track in Field in Eugene, OR. We are starting the trip in Wyoming and going:

    Colorado, Arizona, Nevada, California, Oregon, Washington, Montana, Wyoming.

    Here's the dilemma, we are both 19 and female. For safety reasons we are considering adding another person. We have both a male and female in mind to invite, so my questions are:

    1. Is adding a third person a good idea?

    2. If adding a third person is a good idea- should we add the guy or the girl?

    Thank you all in advance for your input. And if you have any great tip ideas for the states we are visiting let me know!

  2. Default

    If I were in your shoes, I would invite another person. Assuming you have a standard-sized car, three people can travel comfortably without increasing the total cost. The third person can share a standard hotel room without increasing the total cost.

    As for which one to invite, ask yourself these questions:
    Which one is easiest to get along with?
    Which one is most likely to agree with the plans you two have already agreed upon? (i.e., wants to visit the parks, etc. you've already chosen)
    Which one can afford to go financially?
    Which one would be the most help on the trip? (good navigator, etc.)
    If you invite the guy, will everyone be comfortable living in close quarters?

    Is it realistic to invite BOTH of the other two? It'd really slash your costs, though it does add to the living in harmony issue.
    Last edited by Mark Sedenquist; 03-30-2008 at 12:16 AM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Green County, Wisconsin
    Posts
    13,063

    Default why

    Welcome to the RTA Forum!

    I just don't see why you think having 3 people would be any more safe than having 2.

    There's certainly nothing wrong with traveling with 3 or even 4 people, but I also have some questions about how you are going about your plans.

    You've got 2 people who you might allow to travel with you, but are they going to have any say in where you go or how you go about this trip? Or will you expect them to simply go along with the plan you've laid out? How will you break down your costs?

    Traveling with 3 or 4 people is fine, but if you are just expecting the extra people to go along with your plans and act as a bodyguard or to help reduce your own costs, you might be better off traveling as a pair.

  4. Default

    I do think three is safer than two. Safety in numbers. A potential attacker may feel that he can overpower two, but the more people you add, the more likely the attacker is to pass up your group. You may not agree with this, but women DO think this way!

    I don't see anything here that says she's going to act as trip dictator -- her plans are certainly not firm. It would, however, be common sense to choose a trip partner who's likely to like the idea of visiting the general areas that the two original trippers have already picked. Certainly the new person could say, "Hey, I've always wanted to visit ___, and it's close to ____" or "I went to ____ a couple years ago, and it wasn't as great as people say."
    Last edited by Mark Sedenquist; 03-30-2008 at 10:26 AM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Green County, Wisconsin
    Posts
    13,063

    Default actions more than numbers

    I do think three is safer than two. Safety in numbers. A potential attacker may feel that he can overpower two, but the more people you add, the more likely the attacker is to pass up your group. You may not agree with this, but women DO think this way!
    3 potentially could be safer than two, but that also implies that even one is unsafe.

    Actions and choices about safety are far more important than numbers. People make solo trip in this country every day without any problems, and acting recklessly with 3 people, because you feel safer, certainly will cause far more problems than using better judgement with two or even one person. A potential attacker certainly is going to go after the easiest prey, but there is certainly far more than numbers in that determination.

    I don't see anything here that says she's going to act as trip dictator -- her plans are certainly not firm.
    You've missed the point. Right now, you've got 2 people who are planning a trip and they have a specific reason for making this trip (going to olympic trials).

    Up to this point and based on the question asked, the only reason they are talking about adding a 3rd person is because of safety. Based on the question asked, that's the only factor they are using to determine which of these two other potential "3rd wheels" as they called them would be the best candidate to join them. They also want help picking which travel companion would be best based only on the gender of that additional person.

    If the two other potential people are fully on board with this trip, then why aren't they already part of the plans? If they're not on board right now, then why would they want to drop any other plans they might already have to join the trip of 2 other people. Are the goals and styles of the additional travelers the same as the 2 people who are already planning this trip?

    There are a million things that need to be taken into account when building a roadtrip party, especially when you've already got 2 people with a pretty specific reason for making the trip. If you simply add one person based only on a desire to be safe without considering the many other ways a third or fourth person will change the dynamics of the trip, you'll be asking for trouble down the road.

  6. Default Very Insightful

    Thank you all for your comments. It brought up a lot of ideas I hadn't thought about. Luckily, both people we were thinking about are easy-going and up for anything.

    We did consider how the living situation would be if we added another male, but we did not consider that having a third person might give us a false sense of security. We didn't consider the cost factor or the financial aspect of the two candidates. I really appreciate your opinions and welcome anymore if you have them.

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